Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in hotchef's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 25th, 2006
8:27 pm	my life if my life were a sit-com, i would want to play a character with the same first name as my "real-life" name just like Tony Danza does. Current Music: First Wave (Comment on this)
Monday, September 4th, 2006
11:27 am	the crocodile hunter is dead http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060904/en_afp/australiapeopleirwinwildlife_060904125808 Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Monday, April 24th, 2006
11:13 pm	i am a junior fat guy in training i walked past this awesome cigar store in town when i was picking up my Indian take-out dinner tonight. inside were all these fat guys sitting around what looked like a living room set-up watching t.v., smoking cigars and eating food from the pizza place. it was warm today and the odor wafting out of the open door was cigar smoke and greasy, fatty foods. the name of the store was like "Monster cigar store" or something like that. it looked so warm and inviting inside, i haven't smoked a cigar in years. Current Mood: groggy Current Music: Howard Stern (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 19th, 2006
12:21 am	fear nature pt IIII so, i am trying to get out of bed Friday morning and i hear the cats playing with something under the bed. but i don't hear any crying or squeaking and they were chasing the June bugs (Halloween bugs)around the apartment the night before so i didn't think anything of it. i keep hitting the snooze button and i finally drag my ass out of bed like thirty minutes later and then i go to the bathroom to do my dirty, sinful business. so, when i come back i went to look at what miss Cali was playing with and i pull back the comforter at the foot of the bed and underneath where she is sitting is a brown bat about the size of my fist. it was flopping around on the floor and trying to get away. i had to separate the two of them and scoop it up in a box. it hissed at me once before i got it in the box and it was pretty terrifying for being so small. i put it outside on the porch and it kind of just flopped away. remarkably, i think both of them escaped the encounter relatively unscathed. i have no idea how it got in the apartment but the lady upstairs told me when i first moved in that she had one in her apartment once. when i told my mummified landlady about it her response was, "you can't kill them, ya know?!? they're an en-dan-ger-ed species or something..." when she said the word "endangered" she came off like she had just seen the word somewhere recently and was trying it out for the first time. i strongly suspect that this was just her way of telling me that she was pleased that i had told her about the situation but that she was firmly set against doing anything about it. Current Music: Los Angeles, X (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
12:16 am	...maybe it was roast beef i got a loaner replacement t.v. tonight from a friend just in time to watch Rollergirls. it's like a third generation hand-me-down from an old room-mate of mine. it seems to work pretty well but it smells faintly of b.o. or maybe like someone lost a ham sandwich in it and never went throught the trouble to fish it out. Current Mood: i should be in bed Current Music: space radio (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
11:57 pm	dude, you're getting a Dell i'm back on-line. Current Mood: powering down Current Music: the Daily Show (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
9:55 pm	fear nature pt III the first day on my new job yesterday and i was late because there was a major accident. apparently there was livestock running free all over the turnpike. on the radio they said there were goats but with each telling of the story that i overheard through-out the day it escalated until there were goats, pigs, and sheep. i was a little disappointed because after being stuck in traffic for so long, i didn't get to see a damn thing. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
12:22 am	well, i start another new job tomorrow, today, this morning, whatever time it is... i always do this to myself, i don't feel like sleep yet and i have to get up early. and i finished my book last night and i had to take the other one back to the library today. ergh. Current Mood: not sleepy Current Music: those damn crickets (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 29th, 2005
7:58 pm	fear nature pt II ... so my car has been acting funny for the last couple of days, it felt like it was running to fast and losing pick-up. today it started making some kind of scraping noise and i thought i felt something skipping underneath. i took it to my mechanic today and he said that it was skipping the low gears. he looked under the hood and found that some wires that go to the transmission were worn or chewed through. he said it looked like they were chewed through more than likely and that it wasn't all that uncommon. he said that sometimes squirrels or mice or chipmunks go up into your engine sometimes and just chew the wires for some reason. damn varmints! Current Mood: fearful Current Music: the Daily Show (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 6th, 2005
1:20 am	i am so drunk right now, i have to try to go to sleep... Current Mood: drunk Current Music: moistboyz (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 4th, 2005
12:03 am	i am going to be so tired tomorrow at this point, i don't really care if i ever meet someone, life is unpleasant enough without having to listen to someone else bitch about their shitty life. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
5:11 pm	clean bill of health well almost, ... everything checked out fine today and the tests went off without a hitch, it was the old bad arteries that they were seeing i guess, no new problems and the bypass arteries look fine. i also have a colagen plug in my leg now to plug up the hole that they made and i'm supposed to be on light duty for the next week so the doctor said i couldn't go back to work until Thursday. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
3:11 pm	i heard a joke today... the turtles had decided to have a picnic, so they packed up some sandwiches and they set out. it took them ten days to get to the picnic grounds. when they got there and had unpacked everything, they realized that they had forgotten to pack the bottle opener. the biggest turtle said, "someone should go back and get it" so, it was decided to send the littlest turtle. "i don't want to go. if i go, the rest of you will just eat all of the sandwiches while i'm gone", said the littlest turtle. "we promise not to eat the sandwiches until you get back", said the biggest turtle. so, the littlest turtle set out on his journey. ten days went by and there had been no sign of his return. twenty days went by and there was still no sign of him. all of the turles were very hungry and very grumpy by this point. "well, we have waited long enough, i think we should start eating some of the sandwiches", the biggest turtle said. so, they all gathered round and they each took a bite of the sandwiches. "see!", said the littlest turtle, jumping out from behind a rock, "i told you that this was what was going to happen if i went!" Current Mood: humid (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 26th, 2005
1:51 am	i love it when the bathroom is clean... Current Mood: drowsy Current Music: the Matrix: Revolutions (on cable) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 17th, 2005
11:26 pm	the other day at work (i can't remember if it was Wednesday or Thursday) i just missed a call on my office phone as i was walking back in, when i checked the number it wasn't one that i recognized and when i rang it back it said that the number wasn't one that was in service. tonight at around 7 o'clock i missed a call on my cell phone and about an hour later when i checked the number it wasn't one that i recognized and when i rang it back it said that it had been disconnected (not temporarily disconnected but disconnected) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 27th, 2005
5:30 pm	nothing on television random thought: i know how they can settle this whole American Idol thing, a foot race. while checking the cable guide for something to watch, i saw that there was a sequel to Left Behind (a mini-series about the Rapture that starred Kirk Cameron) how is that possible? i am sad because Deadwood is in re-runs already and this is the last season of Six Feet Under. my life is so full... Current Music: Gilmore Girls (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
11:10 am	i have been meaning to update all week but i just got over a migraine that lasted for two days and i can't look at the monitor screen for too long. i went to New York City last Saturday with some friends from my old job, it was a nice break from all the drudgery. Toy Tokyo is my new favorite store: http://www.toytokyo.com/ , and also: www.obscuraantiques.com i think there is an Edward Gorey shop in the city but we didn't make it there. NYC has the best bums, this one bum said "Happy Birthday" to John as he walked by and it was his birthday just the day before. the best number one bum was this guy who had four shopping carts loaded up with stuff (including, no lie, a kitchen sink) and was moving one cart up the street and then going back for another one. we saw him several times throughout the course of the day as we criss-crossed the island. i saw another two crusty old bums squeezed together on this bench in Union Square and the one turned to the other and said "why did you say that i need a shave?!?" and the other one turned to him and said "i SAID that you need a SHAVE!!!" needless to say, both of these bums could have used a serious sand-blasting. this other bum came at us all like Twelve Monkeys-style and started shouting and pointing at us or someone on the street, "I KNOW YOU!!! I SEE YOU FOLLOWING BLACK PEOPLE AROUND MY NEIGHBORHOOD!!! YOU ARE FROM DOWN SOUTH!!!..." and then said, "I don't know you, i have never seen you before..." Current Mood: gassy Current Music: 'salem's lot (the original) (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 28th, 2005
10:43 pm	the new digs well, it's been a little over a week in the new apartment and here are a few of the things that i have noticed about it: 1) the house makes funny noises at night. 2) i hate radiator heat. 3) there is a radiator spaced evenly every three feet in the apartment. 4) the house is infested with those fast-moving itchy-looking centipedes (i am a big girl when it comes to those things) 5) it is to a party house. 6) the radiator in the bathroom is so close to the toilet that i have to sit side-ways almost. 7) there are several medium-sized repairs that need to be done. 8) i suspect there is something hidden under the loose floor boards. 9) the separate hot and cold faucets in the bathroom sink were somewhat quaint in the beginning but are now thoroughly annoying. 10) there are too many windows. Current Mood: tired Current Music: something crappy on cartoon network (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 19th, 2005
1:36 am	so much to do i became an uncle again yesterday at 10 AM. i am moving the bulk of my crap this weekend. i wish that i had been documenting everything that my crazy landlord has been saying to me. i got a call from her at work the day before but it had to be transferred from someone inside the company because somehow she got throught to someone else there. she said, "i scratched my cornea! i have to wear an eyepatch, i can't drive to drop off your mailbox key" Current Mood: very tired Current Music: some funky modern jazz (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
11:52 pm	under the couch cushions i was rooting around in the cushions of this old couch last night that was left behind at the new apartment and i found a dvd shoved all the way down inside the couch, it was Slackers but when i opened it not only was there a copy of Slackers inside but Pirates of the Caribbean as well, that's like a two-fer, dude! tonight inside the chair cushions i found the following: a nickel, a black polo shirt, a cigarette butt, a pen from some rehab hospital, a stick, some red game pieces, and the most intricate roach clip i have ever seen. there were probably some other things that i have forgotten at this point. check out my new icon courtesy of L. Fury (genius) i know that you are all jealous! it is in honor of my new landlord who i am convinced is completely out of her skull. every time i talk to her it's something new and totally off the wall. today i wanted to ask about the broken window panes and she started the conversation with, "i just poked myself in the eye!" when i asked if there had been any pest problems at the apartment, she countered with a list of animals and insects but assured me that they were all outside. "oh, there was someone that complained about the Halloween Bugs", she said. i said, "well, that sounds kind of fun" Lori informs me that these are commonly referred to as "Elder Bugs", but that sounds too ominous and somewhat archaic, as if they were always trying to break through thresholds into our world and subjugate the human race. Current Mood: drank too much Pepsi Current Music: the Toadies, Possum Kingdom (5 Comments |Comment on this)